The Kiss Heard ‘Round the World

A woman stands up, refusing to sit the back of the bus. A bespeckled man decides to fast until the violence ends in Calcutta. Another steps in front of a tank in Tiananmen Square.

No guns. No army. Not a single punch thrown.

But these tiny acts changed the world.

Yesterday, it happened again when two members of the Russian women’s 4×400-meter relay team took a stand against Vladimir Putin and the Russian laws prohibiting homosexual expression.

And they did it with a

Standing on the podium with gold medals around their necks, Kseniya Ryzhova and Tatyana Firova told the world not everyone in Russia believes in bigotry, not everyone is filled with hate.

It was powerful, dangerous and brave, and I hope nothing happens to these wonderful women. They haven’t made a formal statement, so there’s a chance this wasn’t political.

Still, it broke Russian law.

It’s also a blueprint for every athlete competing in the Sochi Olympics.

I know a lot of people want the U.S. to boycott the games, but billions of eyes will be watching, and one simple act of solidarity will mean more than not showing up ever could.

This is how we open people’s minds…with love.

Ardent Atheist Podcast Tonight!

Hey everyone, tonight I’ll be on Ardent Atheist discussing SCOTUS and DOMA and other wonderful acronyms (hopefully FUBAR and WTF) as well as today’s rulings on gay marriage. The show starts at 7:30 pm PST.

You can listen here:

It should be offensively fun!


about the show

Ardent Atheists Emery Emery and Heather Henderson talk with comedians, actors and friends about atheism, deism and the effects of religion on us all. Guests of the show are a mix of atheists, agnostics, deists, scientists, humanists and the occasional god-loving, scripture-quoting crusader. Discussions are deeply impassioned, mostly respectful and always funny.

SCOTUS – Prop 8 & DOMA

In a little less than seven hours, the Supreme Court should be issuing their ruling on Proposition 8 and DOMA. I’m nervous. I don’t know how this is going to turn out. My lawyer friends seem to think they’ll strike down DOMA, but punt on Prop. 8. I hope for more. I hope that tomorrow the highest court in the land has the courage to rule in favor of love. I hope my mother will have the same freedom to marry as my father and sister. I hope teenage couples and adult couples and old couples never have to feel that their relationship is somehow less than anyone else’s.

But no matter the ruling, no matter how just or unjust it seems, no law can crush the human heart.

I haven’t been blogging much recently. After my best friend as a kid killed himself last month, I haven’t seen much point. I’d grown tired of my voice.

But tomorrow’s decision has reminded me why I started this blog in the first place. It wasn’t about me or my feelings. It was about how much I love my mom, how proud I am of her, and how humbled I am by her courage. And until she has the same rights as everyone else I hold dear, this fight doesn’t end.

Ardent Atheist Tonight!

I’m going to be on Ardent Atheist tonight at 7:30 PST. We’ll be talking about gay marriage, the Supreme Court, and probably my penis.

Watch and listen at:


The following folks will be in the studio:

Anthony Szpak –


Bryan Erwin -  @bryanerwin


Adam Kaplan - 

WATCH & CHAT right here:



I started writing this blog a few weeks ago, but the actual spark happened August 1, 2012 when it felt like the entire country was lining up to buy chicken sandwiches in a united front against gay marriage. 

Look, lately I’ve been writing a lot about butts and buttholes and I’m tired of it, so tonight I’m just going to share what I wrote on Facebook that day.

“My mom came out of the closet a little over ten years ago, and it shook the foundation of me. I had, and have, no problem with homosexuality, but I wasn’t ready to hear the woman who’d been married to my dad for 25 years had been lying about who she really was. Then we talked and hugged and she explained being a lesbian wasn’t really an option in Kansas City during the 70s. Until that moment I didn’t realize how impossible it was for so many people to tell the truth. Not everyone was tied to a fence like Matthew Shepard, but I’m pretty sure that’s what some feared would happen if they did. 

But times changed. People evolved. Heck, a few months ago, the President of the United States said he supported gay marriage. Most thought he was a little late to the party, but then the CEO of Chick-fil-A openly admits he spends our money to stop same-sex marriages. Obviously, he has the right to express his opinions. This is America and everyone deserves free speech. But I also have the right to never purchase a sandwich during Chick-fil-A’s six days of operation. I feel bad for the franchise owners who don’t share Dan Cathy’s bigotry, but I cannot, in good conscience, fund a company that wants to dictate who my mother can marry.

Feel free to defriend me. You will not be missed.”

Since then, the company has changed their policy to openly fund anti-gay organizations.  It gives me hope that bigotry won’t win this fight, and reminds me that maybe I should spend a little less time writing about buttholes.

photo credit: <a href=”;Elvert Barnes</a> via <a href=”;photopin</a> <a href=”;


I Don’t Do the Gay Guys, Man

Yesterday I attempted a humorous post about the media’s coverage of Manti Te’o’s sexuality.  I was trying to find something funny in a situation that made me sick.  Even in this enlightened time when our President calls for equality for every human being, I realized that an NFL-hopeful, even a finalist for the Heisman, could never come out before the draft.  He’d probably get scooped up by a team eventually, but he’d lose millions, because to take on a gay player would mean more scrutiny, more vitriol, more interviews, and possibly fights in the locker room.  With dickfaces like , the CB for the 49ers, saying, “I don’t do the gay guys man.  I don’t do that.  No, we don’t got no gay people on the team, they gotta get up out of here if they do.  Can’t be with that sweet stuff.  Nahcan’t bein the locker room man.  Nah.”

I like how he said, “I don’t do the gay guys, man,” leaving the possibility that he only does straight dudes.

I also like how other players are getting asked if they’d have a problem with a gay player.  , linebacker for the Ravens, responded, “Absolutely not.  We don’t care.”  He said, “On this team, with so many different personalities, we just accept people for who they are and we don’t really care too much about a player’s sexuality.  You know who you are, and we accept you for it.”

His teammate, Brendon Ayanbadejo, has also been an outspoken advocate for same-sex marriage.  He’s using the Super Bowl as a platform to speak about equality for the LGBT community.  Ayanbadejo has even said Chris Culliver’s anti-gay remarks have inspired him to reach out to Chris Culliver, who apologized yesterday.

reported his words:

“[I was] really just not thinking. [It was] something that I thought. Definitely nothing that I felt in my heart,” Culliver said.  “I support gay people, gay communities, and different racial [backgrounds]. It was just something I feel apologetic to, and I’m sorry that I made a comment and that hurt anyone — that I made a comment that might affect anyone in the organization, NFL, or anything like that.”

The apology doesn’t erase what he said, but it shows that progress is being made.  Minds are opening.  One day a player will have the courage to come out, and an owner will have the resolve to give him a contract.  A lot of fans and players will scream and rage, but the bigots of the world need to realize their ignorance and hate will not prevail.

Is Manti Te’o Gay?

Answering a question as complex and historically important as Is Manti Te’o Gay? requires such advanced journalism skills that few would dare venture into this sexual labyrinth.

Luckily for us, pulled out her big balls and asked the stud from Notre Dame, “Are you gay?”

Te’o responded, “No, far from it.  Faaaar from it.”  He laughed.  The audience laughed.

Case closed.  Nothing to see here.

But Dr. Phil wasn’t satisfied, and Dr. Phil’s balls are almost as big as Katie’s. So he sat down with the man behind the girlfriend hoax, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, a man so devious he’s taken a name so delightful to say you forget he’s an evil mastermind.  Speaking to NBC’s Mike Taibbi on , Dr. Phil recounted how he whipped out his hairy testicles for Tuiasosopo.  “I asked him straight up, ‘Was this a romantic relationship with you?’  And he says yes.  I said, ‘Are you then therefore gay?’  And he said, ‘When you put it that way, yes.’  And then he caught himself and said, ‘I am confused.’’’


The earth rumbled as these two investigative Titans clacked their giant balls over the heads of us mere mortals, and we opened our mouths as the droplets of truth spilled over our tongues and down our throats.  We savored and swallowed the seeds of knowledge.

The conclusion to Manti Te’o’s sexuality, we would discover, actually consists of two completely different answers:

#1: Who cares?


# 2: Who gives a shit?

Boy Scouts Might Let Gay Kids Wear Sashes and Neckerchiefs

Today I read the Boy Scouts of America might lift their national ban on homosexuals.  Individual troops will still be free to discriminate against gay children, but there will no longer be a national policy.  As a boy I was forced to join this weird organization, where I learned to sew, wear sashes, and lie about helping old ladies in order to earn a badge.   I have no idea why anyone would want to be a member of this peculiar group, but this news makes me smile.

For thousands of years, to openly admit you were gay risked not only your standing in the community, but often your life.  You were either strung up, shunned, ridiculed, or simply cast off.  But things are shifting.  The Internet allows millions to mobilize at the first sign of bigotry.  Companies and CEOs are realizing they cannot survive if they publicly discriminate.  There will be backlash.  They’ll lose sponsors, customers, and the almighty coin.

Obviously, we still have a long way to go, but this is progress.  This is change.  In modern America, you can be openly gay, but you can no longer be an open bigot.

photo credit: <a href=” and Brad</a> via <a href=”;photopin</a> <a href=”;